The emotions of postponing your wedding can be A LOT.
You feel sad, angry, resigned, and maybe even a bit guilty.
You’re Not Alone.
After all, COVID-19 is a massive pandemic that is affecting people all over the world.
Aside from the obvious effects on health, it has completely altered people’s daily lives from how they work (or don’t), go to class, and maintain their social life.
And for engaged couples like you, who were planning the biggest and most special day of their lives?
You’ve probably said “I can’t even!!” more than once during this time.
But instead of stuffing the emotions of postponing your wedding all the way in the back of the closet, we want to help you work through them in a productive way.
This way, when your special day finally arrives, no matter when or what it looks like, you can get through this with your sanity intact.
|Side note: This post is intended to help wedding couples relate to emotions of postponing their weddings. We are not licensed psychologists and strongly recommend that you seek professional help if these emotions interfere with your daily life.|
Emotions of Postponing Your Wedding – The Five Stages of Grief
Typically you see The Five Stages of Grief used in connection with the death of a loved one or some other HUGE loss in your life.
And while emotions of postponing your wedding are definitely strong and valid, please know that we are not equating them to losing a valued person in your life.
Nevertheless, we believe that it is better to work through those tough emotions using frameworks like this rather than shoving down the emotions of postponing your wedding.
Lastly, know that you may not feel these emotions in the same order or at all.
You’re Not Alone.
1. Denial & Isolation
Typically, the first reaction you have to overwhelming feelings like the emotions of postponing your wedding is “Nope, that’s not really happening. Not to me. It’ll all go away.”
Unfortunately, that is not usually the case, and instead, you are making yourself numb to the emotions.
It’s sort of like turning into an ostrich that sticks its head in the sand whenever it senses danger.
BUT, the problem is still there even if you pretend it’s not.
More than that, it is also dangerous because you shield yourself from the facts and may lose touch with reality.
We recommend: Let it out! It’s completely ok during the denial stage to have a good cry sesh with your girls. 😭 Then, ask them to help you compile a list of facts of how the coronavirus affects your wedding.
Once you slowly lift your ostrich-head out of the sand and re-enter reality, you may start to feel angry.
“Why me? Why now? This is stupid!”
And while a little anger can be healthy fuel to propel you forward and fully out of the Denial stage, it can quickly turn into overwhelming anger against anything that stands in your way, including your loved ones. 😢
This may lead to snapping at your fiancé or feeling like breaking things around the house and that’s not a healthy coping mechanism.
We recommend: Share those feelings with those who are close to you and ask them to be extra patient with you.
While it’s not an excuse to lash out, your partner will probably understand that it is the emotions of postponing your wedding coming out rather than a personal attack. If not, you will need to explain this and apologize after the heat of the moment has passed.
Instead of an angry outburst, channel your emotion into a productive activity like cleaning or working in the yard. Personally, I do my best cleaning when I’m annoyed and it’s a perfect way to turn negative emotions into a positive outcome.
At some point, you will try to strike a deal with fate.
Emotions of postponing your wedding often stem from feeling a lack of control and bargaining feels like a way to regain control.
The deal sounds something like this:
“I will keep my wedding exactly the same but promise we won’t hug each other!”
“If I limit my guests to 50, it’s all going to be fine.”
“All of my guests will be asked to use hand sanitizer before the reception. That’ll work!”
Unfortunately, in reality, those deals are not only unlikely to actually happen when emotions run high on your wedding day.
Do you really want to bargain with your and your guests’ health just to get everything your way?
There is absolutely nothing wrong with postponing your wedding to a time when this pandemic is more under control and you and your guests can celebrate in a carefree way.
We recommend: Remember that you CAN postpone your wedding, but you cannot undo the harm to your guests’ health.
Now that you’ve realized that it’s no use to bargain and feel less in control than ever.
Here comes depression… 😔
Depression has led you to be anxious and worry about everything…
“We can’t afford to postpone, but can we really afford not to postpone?”
“My fiancé is going to be devastated, she’s been looking forward to this her whole life.”
“What if everyone can’t make it on the new date?”
On the other end, there’s the kind of depression that makes you feel like nothing really matters. (It’s called generalized depression)
You don’t feel like thinking about wedding planning and really don’t feel like doing anything at all.
In fact, you feel stuck and it’s nearly impossible to see the light ahead.
And you may even start questioning whether this is a sign and you’re not supposed to get married at all.
It can truly feel like all the world is against you and there is nothing you can do.
We recommend: If you are suffering from depression that is branching into the rest of your life outside of wedding planning, please visit the Anxiety and Depression Association of America for help.
If your depression focuses on your wedding planning, we recommend that you get moving! Go for a walk or exercise and get those endorphins flowing.
It’s important that you speak with a friend about your feelings or better yet, find another couple whose wedding was affected by the coronavirus and share your emotions of postponing your wedding.
Remember that this is temporary and you are not alone. We are all in this together. In fact, the wedding industry as a whole is experiencing the same struggle you are!
We WILL get through this.
Okay, so you’ve worked through a ton of emotions of postponing your wedding and have realized that smashing things into the wall is as bad an idea as withdrawing completely.
You’re sort of okay with it and try to see light at the end of the tunnel.
You’ve accepted that there is very little you can do to control the situation.
And the best thing you can do is remember that this affects all of us.
Here’s our final recommendation:
Think of postponing your wedding as your little glimmer of control. This is your contribution to stopping the spread of COVID-19 and it’s no little feat either.
Again, we promise you are not alone.
In fact, we at Wedtexts are working tirelessly to create a number of wedding planning blogs specifically geared towards postponing your wedding because of the coronavirus, so keep checking blog.wedtexts.com and follow us on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram for helpful tips and funny memes for the times when you just need a laugh!
WedTexts is the ONLY wedding planning tool that will get you through this time of uncertainty by helping you keep all your guests in the loop from the planning stage to the I Dos.
And here’s how:
You think putting the changes on your wedding website is all you need to do?
Let me tell you…
Your guests have no idea how to get to your wedding website. They have probably misplaced the printed invite that tells them how to get there, too.
Okay, so you’ll just print new change-the-dates? Sure, go right ahead and spend your money on something useless.
Yep, I said useless because while we hope this won’t happen, there is no way to know if your new wedding date will happen, either!
The WedTexts app, on the other hand, is the ONLY resource that will 100% be there through the entire journey.
It allows you to send unlimited pre-scheduled or real-time text messages to your guests no matter how often you have to make changes to your plans.
Your guests won’t have to download an app they use once or be stuck in a super annoying group text. Seriously, they will thank you for that!
It also makes the wedding planning stress-free for you because you can get ahead of the game by sending out text message reminders to all your guests rather than waiting for them to blow up your phone with questions.
PLUS, engaged couples whose wedding was originally scheduled for the months of April or May can take advantage of our Wedding Disaster Relief Program!
Now if that doesn’t cure all your negative emotions of postponing your wedding, I don’t know what will.
How have you been dealing with the emotions of postponing your wedding?
Share with us in the comments how COVID-19 has affected your wedding and how you cope with it.